Ultimately, the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed, even if that trust is betrayed, we will not suffer any permanent damage. More important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities, with the trust that the other person will treat them with care. This quality has very little to do with the physical, though sex is certainly one possible door.
At the same time, there is a growing feeling that something-a quality of intimacy-is missing in our lives. “Hit-and-run” relationships have become common in our society as it has grown more rootless, less tied to traditional family structures, and more accepting of casual sex.